The other morning when I was in the shower, thinking, dreaming, contemplating and praying with my eyes shut, I made a discovery. With my eyes closed for whatever reason (unbeknownst to me) I raised my eyebrows, and still with eyes closed, suddenly light poured in through my eyelids, eyelids which are usually hidden because of my bone structure which renders the top lid barely visible. This instantly brought me up to the surface of myself, all prayer dispelled. I then experimented with this activity several times, and each time the brightness of artificial light coming in, drew me into a different zone, from the zone which I now realise I am in, when I am in deepest prayer. Or even from the zone that I am naturally in permanently, with my eyes naturally open. (I have quite deeply-set eyes).
I am now convinced that the depth at which our eyes are set, and the amount of light (artificial or natural) coming in, both whilst our eyes are open and with our eyes closed, determines (or at the very least has a direct effect upon), not only the inner world and room that we find ourselves living in, and from which our perspective looks out and views the physical world whilst we are awake and alert, but also a direct effect upon the inner room that we are in, when we are in deepest prayer. There is a refuge and a sanctuary inside of myself, that I constantly and so easily live within. (Even as a child before formal faith). A room that has its own temperature of light. I wonder if there has ever been a study on the depth of people’s spiritual experience, or inner world, based on the amount of light naturally coming in through their eyes. Or if the inset of the eyes has a direct influence on the spirituality or spiritual journey/vocation of the person.
As much as I absolutely Love sitting behind glass in brilliant all blazing sunlight, and I really Love it, because it takes me to a different more intense, more contemplative place, I also Love (and am most perfectly at home with) dimmed lighting, candle light, lamplight, moon light, firelight etc. I find it so prayerful, and it takes me so easily, even more deeply inside of and beyond myself.
When I walked into Church last evening, it was the adoration of The Blessed Sacrament. The artificial lights were all starkly and brightly full on, and I felt disappointed that this did not create the comfortable familiar zone which I am used to being in, when I am usually in deepest prayer. Nor did the bright artificial light aid me in inhabiting (even the less deep) inner zone, that I reach when in natural light, and appear to be permanently living in, in reality inside my head, which separates me in a way, from the rest of the outside ‘reality’ of the physical world.
Having quite deeply-set eyes I have realized that every day, even in the physical world, I live in a permanent state of this inner reality. And I am convinced that not everyone can experience this in the same way…… as when I raise my eyebrows, the amount of light flooding in through my eyes, into my soul, changes the deepest connection I feel, when I am in deepest prayer and Holy Communion with the True Light.
And all this makes me wonder what it is that others experience (which I can’t) when they pray, with their shallower set eyes? I am also convinced that if my eyes were deeper set still, the experience would be different again. Maybe my souls experience is perfectly spiritually accurately in tune, to the exact measure of light created, by the depth of the setting of my eyes. After all why shouldnt it be, when we look at the scientists whose math describe the absolute perfect precision of creation, (unto the point that it reaches beyond human comprehension) from which the cosmos is created.
The True Light.
Thought for the day, mags 4.00 am. Very awake.