St Francis ~ Follower of Christ

The Renunciation of the Family

‘St. Francis’s father was a wealthy cloth merchant in Assisi. Francis grew up to be a privileged young man-about-town, indulging in quite a bit of merrymaking and revelry with his cronies.  When a war broke out between Assisi and Perugia, the idealistic Francis marched off to fight for his city. He was among those captured and held as a prisoner of war for a year. During Francis’s captivity, his compatriots questioned his loyalty to Assisi because he was always so cheerful.

After he was released and returned to Assisi, Francis’s behavior grew strange. He began walking alone all over the hillsides, singing and praying. He spent time in caves. There was talk that he had gone crazy.  During this time Francis experienced a spiritual visitation. He heard God’s voice commanding him to “Rebuild my church.” Francis took the command literally to mean that God wanted him to rebuild the dilapidated San Damiano, which is set on a slope outside the southeastern gate of Assisi.  In order to purchase the materials for the repairs, Francis sold some cloth from his father’s shop without permission. The priest at San Damiano thought it best to inform Francis’s father, who became enraged.

On a winter day, Francis’s father arranged for Francis to be called out into the town square in order to lambaste him. After this public humiliation, Francis said to his father something like this: “You are no longer my father. God is my father. I give you back my name, all of my earthly belongings, even the clothes on my back.” With that, he removed all of his clothing. Some accounts say he was wearing a basic loincloth underneath; some say he was wearing a hair shirt; and others say that he was naked.
Then Francis walked off barefoot into the snow to begin his life as a monk.’

His rule was  “To follow the teachings of our Lord Jesus Christ and to walk in his footsteps.”

Being Lambasted in a public square feels somewhat familiar to me.

This Wednesday I want to go to my Cathedral, it is the Chrism Mass.  I want to strip naked and ask to be clothed in a diocesan robe; a robe that is of Magdalenian cloth with Dominican/Franciscan/Carmelite thread, made with Marian Love.  I already call all fathers by their Christian name, because my Father in Heaven is my One Father. Just as my Daddy is my one Dad.  And then I am going to spend my earthly life in intimate relationship with my Beloved as Mary Magdalene did with Jesus.

St Francis left us with many words of wisdom ~ here are but a few –

“It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching.”

“While you are proclaiming peace with your lips, be careful to have it even more fully in your heart.”

“Preach Christ — and if necessary, use words.”

. . . and I too will leave you all with a few last words ~

~ God is Love and Spirit.

Love tenderly my friends, for this is the only key that will open doors beyond doors beyond doors within the Eternal Kingdom.

Worship in Spirit and Truth.

I Love you †


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Spirals with God

St Catherine Stained glass

On my apple laptop, if I am operating too quickly for the internet connection, a little spiral circular Catherine Wheel appears.  It is a rainbow spectrum of energy which whizzes and spirals around and around.  It is a radiant energy.

I have just discovered something most beautiful.

When that very same spiral spectrum of energy is moved by my cursor to the central point on the design on my magsmuse page header,  it is exactly the same size as the central circle of the design.  And when I left it whizzing around right there at the centre, its energy became One with the mandala, and this beautiful rainbow energy spiraled and splayed outwards and outwards, making my header become quite Alive.


We are too often subliminally moved and energised by what we view without us even knowing else realising it.  But when we learn to tune into everything in a consciously unconscious way with our extra-senses, we see beyond what others believe is possible to see.  And we understand in great detail the secret movements of the world, and often the collusion to assisting God in His plan.

But if  YOU  had real True faith in God, no collusion would be necessary.  Just to live in Love and kindness, is to live in Him.  And right there the beautiful spirals of miracle energy that radiate outwards – be all that is needed to be

One with God.

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During moments in the past few weeks, and on certain occasions before hand, it has been as if I am outside of myself,  in a situation but outside of it, contemplating it whilst it is happening.  Observing it, and then responding from back within it, in a different manner than I would have responded to it, if I had of been unconscious of Gods presence.  This doesn’t make anything contrived about my response, because the inside and the outside of the situations were happening simultaneously to each-other.

The humiliation and the humility were simultaneous to each-other too.  My passive response which by its very passive nature was absolutely active in its submission (when at the height of my being) was not passive to the person being dominant, but to God, whom I was consciously in commune with.  The passive response to the situation was a herald of Truth to the other party.  At one point I was not at the height of my being, and my response was at best a polemic accurate accusation in anger, but then retreating in prayer I was held in my Truth with the strength and conviction and protection of God.

It was most amazing to trust Him so fully, to feel His hold so securely, and His presence so guidingly, when usually my nature would be reactive to any given situation instead I felt Him working through me.  I was surprised to say the least by my own calmness in such a hostile and nuclear situation, and then this week I came across this saying ‘anger is one letter short of danger’.

The same happened again at university on Saturday afternoon when we brushed over the topic of Christology, my lecturer was talking about the beautiful nature of Christ and the qualities that He possessed, and the authority of His Love and humility with which He carried out His public ministry, and I was passively silent and in my passive silence God allowed a single tear to well up and burst forth from my left eye and bleed salt water down my cheek, no sound, no nothing, just spilled salt.  And my tutor looked right at it, and God spoke.

Yesterdays reading in Church spoke to me,  Jesus did not condemn the allegedly adulterous woman, and in the end others could not condemn her either because of their own sins committed.  She was free to go and sin no more.  The reading spoke to me a thousand decibels, because to be banished from your Cathedral and therefore from receiving the sacrament of Holy Communion at the mother temple, is still to be a woman condemned.  I always knew that God made me a temple of spiritual communion for a reason, I was just unsure why.  And now I know He did it for Love.

Todays reading also spoke to me in clashing cymbal decibels.  Daniel 13;1-9, 15-17, 19-30.

Daniel 13:1-915-1719-30 – Daily Scripture Readings

As I walked up Kensington Church Street on Saturday afternoon after my lecture and after some time in the chapel with the Lord, I felt outside of the life which I was walking in.  Like He was choosing to reside in me, and I was choosing to reside in Him, together as One.  It was like I wasn’t walking at all, but was slightly transcendent of the pavement, which all sounds very conceited, but it wasnt.  I felt full of goodness and light as a feather, and my yoke was light, and it was as if that feeling illuminated, poured and radiated out of my very being to everyone around, nothing mattered at all.  I was wearing what looks like a handmade brown wool Franciscans peasant blanket, wrapped around me (which I acquired before Pope Francis was elected).  It is very unimpressive, and yet I felt beautiful and eternal and radiant, and not tired, or hurting, or haggard, or purposefully and cruelly broken like I have been feeling of late, but alive, and full of Love, and full of Him.

And then in my sanctuary what comes to mind whilst writing this blog-post is this;

Matthew 10;5-15; Mark 6:7-13

Then he called his twelve disciples together, and gave them power and authority over all devils, and to cure diseases. And he sent them to preach the kingdom of God, and to heal the sick.  And he said unto them, Take nothing for your journey, neither staves, nor scrip, neither bread, neither money; neither have two coats apiece.  And whatsoever house ye enter into, there abide, and thence depart.  And whosoever will not receive you, when ye go out of that city, shake off the very dust from your feet for a testimony against them. And they departed, and went through the towns, preaching the gospel, and healing every where.

Luke 9:22

‘The Son of man must suffer many things, and be rejected of the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be slain, and be raised the third day.’

Matthew 16;13-20; Mark8;27-30; John 6:66-71

And it came to pass, as he was alone praying, his disciples were with him: and he asked them, saying, Whom say the people that I am? They answering said, John the Baptist; but some say, Elias; and others say, that one of the old prophets is risen again. He said unto them,

‘But whom say ye that I am?’

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It is impossible to any longer crucify somebody who has already been crucified and has ascended to their Father †

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I confess

Antonio CANOVA (1757 – 1822)<br/><i>Psyche Revived by Cupid’s Kiss</i><br/>Back view<br/>Marble - H. 1.55 m; L. 1.68 m; D. 1.01 m<br/>MR 1777<br/>Paris, Musée du Louvre

I confess to almighty God and to you, my brothers and sisters, that I have greatly sinned, in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done and in what I have failed to do, through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault; therefore I ask blessed Mary ever-Virgin, all the Angels and Saints, and you, my brothers and sisters, to pray for me to the Lord our God.


I confess to spiritually loving my beloved, and for desiring to be with him bodily as well as spiritually.  I do not consider it a sin to Love him, for that Love was bestowed by You God.   Neither do I consider it a sin to show him affection else Loving kindness and friendship.  I confess to having confessed and shared with him spiritually on occasions my erotic affection, but You already know this my Heavenly Father and for this I beseech Your mercy.  I Love him.

I confess to having been harsh and unkind in conversations that I have exchanged with my co-habitatio – and I confess to having married him a decade ago, knowing that we both went to the minister and announced that we wanted to marry in our local church, but that we did not believe in God, whilst with hindsight, feeling inside on the wedding day that something was amiss/missing.  I confess to having neglected and to no longer being an adequate wife to my co-habitatio ‘husband’ and for this too Lord I ask your forgiveness and mercy.  It was never my intention to hurt another being.

I confess to having used foul, profuse and undignified language in my anger and for this too Lord I ask your forgiveness.  I ask for your forgiveness too, for not concealing the Truth from my children whom I Love, Lord may you keep me, and bathe me in your light your mercy and your peace everlasting.  Please dearest beloved Heavenly Father, may You turn everyone’s hurting into Love.


God, the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of Your Son You have reconciled the world to Yourself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins; through Your ministry and Love please may You God give me pardon and peace, and absolve me from my sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son † and of the Holy Spirit.

Dearest Heavenly Beloved Lord, because I Love you above all, I am sorry that I have sinned against You, and with the help of Your grace, I will try not to sin again, but will promise to Love others in a way that will bring me ever intimately closer to Your Love.


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A Pope With One Lung

. . . and a triune heart.


A church with one bell – Glory box.

A reason . . . . . .

. . . . . . . because God is Love. . . . .

. . . . .and spirit

. . . . . . . and truth.

“Behold, I shall lead her, that I may make her male, in order that she also may become a living spirit like you males. For every woman who makes herself male shall enter into the kingdom of heaven”


St Francis of Assisi on Love of God

“Love has cast me into a furnace, love has cast me into a furnace, I am cast into a furnace of love. My new Bridegroom, the loving Lamb, gave me the nuptial ring; then having cast me into prison, He cleft my heart, and my body fell to the ground. Those arrows, propelled by love, struck me and set me on fire. From peace He made war, and I am dying of sweetness. The darts rained so thick and fast, that I was all in agony. Then I took a buckler, but the shafts were so swift that it shielded me no more; they mangled my whole body, so strong was the arm that shot them. He shot them so powerfully, that I despaired of parrying them; and to escape death, I cried with all my might: ‘Thou transgressest the laws of the camp.’ But he only set up a new instrument of war, which overwhelmed me with fresh blows. So true was His aim, that He never missed. I was lying on the ground, unable to move my limbs. My whole body was broken, and I had no more sense than a man deceased; Deceased, not by a true death, but through excess of joy. Then regaining possession of my body, I felt so strong, that I could follow the guides who led me to the court of heaven.”

. . . I think this is where St John of the cross must have got his inspiration for his poetry.

. . . and I think too that St Francis’ spirit is well and truly living.


Love tenderly my friends t’is everything.  Live in kindness.

This is the beginning of forever . . .

. . . . .  and ever. . . . .

. . . . and ever . . . .

Papa Franci, I’m all His, lead me!

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Teardrops Composed

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